By Thomas Raunig
(July 6, 2021)

I am now thirteen years removed from being an active coach, but during this time I have probably read more and been more of an astute observer of the coaching profession than before. One of the main reasons for this is I am now, among other things, a coach educator at the University of Providence. Looking back on the successful athletes and teams I coached, the importance of having good relationships jumps out more than anything else.  Because most of my time was spent coaching distance runners, I was able to build those relationships by running alongside the athletes and conversing with them. Most coaches do not have that luxury, but there are far more successful coaches than I who were not in a position to train along with their athletes.  How do they do it?

Mike Krzyzewski is quoted as saying, “Almost everything in leadership comes back to relationships. The only way you can possibly lead people is to understand people. And the best way to understand them is to get to know them better.” (Janssen and Dale 2002, p. 131). Coach Krzyzewski is now in his 70’s and he appears to have reinvented himself several times. I would say he is able to do that by making every effort to get to know the athletes he is coaching and adapting to meet their needs. I believe that in order to adapt you have to be willing to listen. Listening is clearly one of the most important forms of communication, but sometimes it is hard for a busy coach to take the time to listen. Former NFL coach Tony Dungy in his book The Mentor Leader speaks about the need for an open-door policy for coaches. For him, the goal of that policy was to build communication and foster engagement (Dungy and Whitaker 2010, p. 167). During my coaching career I scheduled weekly meetings with my athletes to discuss training, race strategy, academics, and life in general.  When an athlete I coached started skipping those meetings I immediately knew something was up with them and that was almost always the case. In hindsight, I wish that I had been more diligent in following up on those missed meetings.  In addition, even though I thought that I had an open-door policy, that may not have been conveyed clearly enough to the athletes.

Is there a perfect method for building relationships? Probably not. Can most coaches become better at building relationships through listening more and by being available both physically and mentally? Probably. One approach to building relationships that has proven to be successful among diverse groups, as is often the case with a team, is restorative circles. Restorative circles are… and were originally used by Indigenous peoples, as well as, in restorative practices in schools to help students with discipline issues. Many teams are already using a form of restorative circles when huddling up, stretching in circles, or even having team meetings in circles. I can recall having stretching sessions with my teams where we were sharing thoughts and opinions in a circle and not even thinking about the relational benefits of the activity.

Hall of Fame NBA coach Phil Jackson is probably the most well-known coach to implement the practice of circles into his coaching. Interestingly enough, he had played basketball with Native American children during his summers in Montana (Jordan-Pedia 2020). Jackson’s coaching practices were thought to be new age and unique, but they were in fact ancient (Jackson and Delehanty 2013, p. 3). The book Circle Forward has sample circles for sports team building, winning, and losing, in addition to a post-game circle. In the book, authors Boyes-Watson and Pranis 2015 share seven core assumptions about human beings, all of which I think Phil Jackson would approve of:

1. The True Self in Everyone is Good, Wise, and Powerful
2.  The World is Profoundly Interconnected
3.  All Human Beings have a Deep Desire to be in a Good Relationship
4.  All Humans Have Gifts, Everyone Is Needed for What They Bring
5.  Everything We Need to Make Positive Change Is Already here
6.  Human Beings are Holistic
7.  We Need Practices to Build Habits of Living from the Core Self

I believe implementing circles could have helped me during my coaching career, particularly when I reflect on the fact that three of the better athletes I ever coached were in fact of Native American heritage. I would not have dropped my individual meetings, but I would have changed my team meetings to circles. I feel this would have given all the athletes on the team a voice and perhaps more buy-in.

What do circles bring to the table that other team-building approaches do not?  The first thing would have to be the fact that circles have been successfully practiced for centuries by Indigenous peoples all across the World.  They have a proven track record of bringing harmony to a group. They also add structure to the communication process, ensuring that everyone’s voice is heard.  Boyes-Watson and Pranis 2015 outlined the following elements to conducting a circle:

1. Everyone is seated in a circle, then a mindfulness moment is taken to allow everyone to focus
2. There is a talking piece (only the person holding the talking piece may speak)
3.  Values for the circle are identified and shared
4.   Guidelines are generated based on the identified values
5.  Guiding questions are created in advance by the leaders of the circle to create a theme and generate the type of conversations that are shared
6.  Agreements are made in the circle by consensus and all the members are responsible for implementing the agreement (in sports we call this accountability)
7. End, the circle ends with a closing ceremony

While I have conducted circles in classes that I teach and have participated in them. I wish that I had known the value and simplicity of using circles when I was coaching. They are great for team building, game preparation, inclusion, developing mutual respect, and the open sharing of ideas. My hope is that this article will inspire you to try using circles. You have nothing to lose and a great deal to gain. Getting to know the athletes you coach better, the athletes getting to know each other better, and the athletes getting to know you better can open the door for stronger and deeper relationships. This, in my opinion, opens the door to the magical moments in sports where a team performs beyond anyone’s imagination.

Featured image courtesy of the University of Providence Athletic Department (https://upargos.com/)

References
Boyes-Watson C. and K. Pranix. 2015. Circle Forward: Building A Restorative School Community. Living Justice Press.

Jackson P. and H. Delehanty. 2013 11 Rings: The Soul of Success. Penguin Publishing Group.

Janssen J. and G. Dale. 2002. The Seven Secrets of Successful Coaches. Winning the Mental Game.

Jordan-Pedia. (2020, May 24). “I Was Always an Indian”. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lJDu7kKb-I