By Pete Van Mullem
(December 26, 2025)

The athletes surround Coach Slay. They lean in. His eyes, lively and animated, share his desire to be here. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon, the first practice of the week, after the last school bell of the day. He addresses them with a smile, a few words, and then a joke. The girls laugh, looking steadily at him in admiration, like they might a grandfather – or in this case a great grandfather.

Ron Slaymaker is 89 years young. Yet, for this team, for these high school girls, Coach Slay’s age is no limitation. They need Coach Slay in their life, and he needs them in his. The athletes listen, a little bit for knowledge, a little bit for entertainment, and they listen, mostly because they know he cares. As a basketball coach, Coach Slay can help them become a better athlete. As a person, Coach Slay inspires hope; he models what is possible in life, and his example is contagious. 

A career filled with accomplishments, Ron Slaymaker’s credibility as coach established through the thousands of athletes and coaches he’s impacted and honored by his induction into four hall of fames: Emporia State Athletic Hall of Honor (1987), Kansas Basketball Coaches Hall of Fame (1997), the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics (NAIA) (2000), and the Kansas Sports Hall of Fame (2002).

The 2025-26 season marks Ron Slaymaker’s second season as the head girls’ basketball coach at Topeka High School. It’s his 46th season as a head coach and his 67th year teaching the game to others; a career which includes six seasons as the head boys’ basketball coach at Roosevelt High School (now defunct), a laboratory school for aspiring teachers, under the administration of the Kansas State Teachers College (now known as Emporia State University); 28 seasons as the head men’s basketball coach at Emporia State University (ESU); seven seasons as the head girls basketball coach at Chase County High School (KS); and three seasons as the head girls basketball coach at Olpe High School (KS).

Yet, with all his accomplishments and credibility, people have questioned whether, at his age, he is physically or mentally fit to coach a high school varsity girls’ basketball team. Slay hears it and understands it. “I’m well aware; more aware than anyone else how old I am,” said Slaymaker. “We place age limits on all types of things – in all walks of life. And I think that age is just a number.”

Coach Slay enjoys life; he has always done so. He has taken a lifelong approach to seeking challenges and staying busy, two things he believes are key to enjoying life as you age. “This (coaching) is something I think I do a pretty good job at,” said Slaymaker. “I love to do it and probably more than anything – it may sound a little corny. I do think I can make a difference.”

Slaymaker’s approach to life guides how he teaches and inspires others. He stayed in the game, finding longevity for 67 years. The article “I Raised My Hand” documents Ron Slaymaker’s life and coaching career.

A variety of factors influence longevity in coaching, yet coaches, like Coach Slay, who stay in the game, have a solid foundation built on passion, perseverance, and resilience; they meet the four essentials to serve as a coach; and they focus on what they can control – seeking mastery in developing athletes, building support, and learning winning habits. In this article, you will have the opportunity to reflect on your foundation for longevity and check that you meet the four essentials to stay in the game.

Do you have a foundation for longevity in coaching?

To evaluate your foundation for longevity in coaching, reflect on your passion to fulfill the role of a coach, and on your ability to persist and be resilient.

Passion

Think about a moment in your childhood when you fell in love with a sport. You wanted to become better, so you devoted your time and energy to improving your skills. The sport became important to you and gave you a sense of purpose – it became part of your identity. However, your passion as an athlete does not necessarily translate to your love to coach. You have to discover a passion for serving as a coach, the act of teaching and helping others be good at the sport you love.

The passion for what it means to lead and serve as a coach has always guided Ron Slaymaker. After coaching for 35 seasons, Coach Slay spent 16 seasons without a team to coach. His passion for the game never wavered. He still taught the game to athletes at basketball camps and coaches at coaching clinics. He stayed involved with the game as a mentor to his former players, attending their practices and games. He started officiating basketball, working his way from middle school games to officiating at the Kansas state basketball tournaments.

Then, in the fall of 2014, after 16 seasons away from coaching, Coach Slay interviewed for the head girls’ basketball position at Chase County High School, located in the rural community of Cottonwood, Kansas, a 22-mile drive from his home in Emporia, Kansas. In 35 seasons as a head coach, Slaymaker had never coached girls’ basketball. At 77 years of age and recovering from recent hip replacement surgery, he took the job. “When I first started at Chase County, I was like, wow, this is like starting brand new. You know you are excited,” said Slaymaker. “11 years down the line, that first practice (at Topeka High) I was still excited about it.”

Coach Slay’s passion drives his energy. “I still have the energy to do it. I think that in coaching, I think that is the number one prerequisite. If you don’t have the energy, you won’t get to first base,” said Slaymaker. “I still have the energy, and I love what I am doing.”

Do you have a passion for coaching? A coach who lacks passion for the role of being a coach will have a short stay in the position. And that’s okay. The important thing is to recognize and understand your passion for the role; when you should pursue the coaching life and when it might be time to step away. If you have the passion, pursue it and persist when challenges and setbacks arise.

Perseverance

Working with athletes and building a team requires continued effort. An effort to persist and overcome challenges and difficulties common to working as a coach. For example, an injury to a star performer, managing playing time, or dealing with unrealistic expectations from parents, administrators, and the community. In addition, your coaching effort is complicated by your need to balance your professional roles and responsibilities with your life off the field of play. Thus, to stay in the game, you need to persevere. You need to endure, even when your effort goes unrecognized or you have delayed success on the field of play.

Coach Slaymaker leans forward. He sits in a wooden chair in front of a large school-issued metal desk in his office at Topeka High School, a room that appears to double as a storage closet for items left behind from previous coaches: a couch, covered in a thin, black cloth, likely donated from someone’s basement, occupied one wall; a coffee maker, holding a brown stained clear pot, teetered on the corner of the desk, and a trophy from an in-season tournament sits on a window sill, the window offering a view into the basketball court – a floor below the office. A few minutes before today’s practice, he reflects on coaching basketball; insightful thoughts that combine his current experience with a life in the game.

“I don’t want to be a one-hit wonder, but I am not long-term,” states Slay. “I had been at two small schools (before taking this position). I am kind of a small school guy – I grew up in a small town. Topeka High School has the reputation of being a tough place to be (for a coach).”

Established in 1871, Topeka High is the oldest high school in the city of Topeka, KS (pop. 126,000). The current high school, built in 1931, is a landmark. Listed in the U.S. National Register of Historic Places, the three-story building boasts a Gothic-style architecture, which includes a 165-foot ornate bell tower at the main building entrance. Due to the school’s size (over 1700 students), the Topeka High Trojans compete in the Kansas State High School Activities Association’s largest classification (6A) for athletics. Yet, Topeka High’s long history is absent of recent athletic success on the basketball court; the boys’ team last won a state title in 1986 and the girls’ team in 1982.

The school’s enrollment is diverse, a result of the school district’s attendance lines slicing the city north to south. Topeka High’s attendance zone runs through the center of the city, with a substantial portion of the city’s low-income, inner-city neighborhoods sandwiched between middle and higher-income neighborhoods to the east, north, and south. Slaymaker’s basketball team offers a sample of the student body in terms of heritage, nationalities, and socio-economic status.

Some athletes come from two-parent homes, with money, a support system to make it through adolescence, and with many of these same athletes often overscheduled with extracurricular activities, challenging their commitment to one sport or team; some athletes deal with an unpredictable home structure, where the adults in their life might be struggling to make ends meet or dealing with personal issues, the adults are too distracted to focus on their child’s needs; and some athletes grow up too fast, experiencing the loss of a parent or family member to drugs and crime either through death or incarceration. Slaymaker does not know who will be in practice or available for the next game. “Something is going on every day,” said Slay. “I get through each day – one at a time.”

His situation at Topeka High mimics what many coaches face in leading a team – the ability to mold athletes together while balancing the dynamics of their personal lives. Every setting is different, but you will face this challenge as a coach. Slay knows even when things don’t go as planned, or when it’s not going well, he must persist and continue to give his enthusiasm and energy to his athletes. “When a coach gives up, states Slay, “The kids see that.” 

With a coaching philosophy built on making a difference in his athletes’ lives, Coach Slay’s focus and energy need to be on those he leads. Yet, he also needs to find motivation for himself. “I am big into motivation and locker room slogans, (I provide) something (for my team) almost every day that is important in my mind,” shares Coach Slay. “And I always say, if I am not reaching them, I am reaching me. And if I get a little bit fired up about a locker room slogan, then it’s worth it.”

Slaymaker also finds motivation from his athletes, reassurance that his philosophy is working, a comment that comes as unsolicited feedback: “A simple statement from a player might be the most powerful source of support,” says Slay. “That’s a super, duper boost that you can get when you get it from a player.”

Still, Slaymaker recognizes that the impact of his work is often felt years later. “The approach I have taken, since I got back into coaching the last 11 years, is you don’t see immediate results in your philosophy,” shared Slay. “Five years down the line, you get letters, phone calls from people you had five years ago – that reminds you that they did hear you.”

Remembering your long-term impact as a coach is a good mindset to have to help you persist through the challenges you face right now. Yet, because the actions and behavior of the coach are always under constant evaluation, you may find it difficult to focus on your long-term impact. Thus, perseverance for a coach operates both in the short and long term. In the short term, you push through unexpected challenges like the loss of a key player to an injury. In the long term, you continue to pursue your passion – even after a poor season, where external pressure from administrators, parents, and the community may have you questioning your ability as a coach. You focus on what you want to achieve as a coach and the impact you want to have on those you lead. You focus on what you can control – your effort toward your goals.

Throughout his career, Coach Slay understood that in the short or long term, the pursuit of his passion for coaching must balance with his personal life. He needed to overcome the challenges associated with leading athletes and molding together a team with the duties and responsibilities of being a husband and raising a family. Slaymaker believes his commitment to his position at ESU for 28 years, not chasing other coaching opportunities, helped him live a balanced lifestyle and be present for his family, but he had to work at it, and sometimes he needed a reminder at home from his spouse, Shirley. “If I was eating (at dinner with the family) and I had something on my mind and was muttering to myself –  anytime I did that, I heard about it,” laughed Slaymaker.

A voice came over the school’s speaker system, pausing Coach Slay’s reflection. “It must be about time to head down to the gym,” said Slaymaker. He bends down, pulls up one pant leg, exposing an ankle-foot brace. He proceeds to check the brace, then repeats the process on the other leg. “I used to demonstrate everything,” says Slay. “If it were not for my neuropathy, I could go until at least 110 (years old), but it has slowed me down a bit.”

Neuropathy, also known as peripheral neuropathy, causes numbness and pain in the hands and feet. In Slay’s case, it’s his feet. Neuropathy can cause a numbing sensation, which may include a jabbing or throbbing pain. The impact is often characterized by muscle weakness and lack of coordination. The ankle-foot braces help to support the muscles and provide balance. Neuropathy creates a physical challenge for Slaymaker. Still, he persists. He’s prepared for the challenge, leaning on a foundation of perseverance and resilience to stay in the game. 

Resilience

The ball clanged off the front rim as the first half buzzer sounded; the Topeka High Trojans trailed at the half. The athletes from both teams jogged toward their locker room for halftime adjustments. The Trojans’ locker room occupied a room beneath the gym floor, accessed via a stairwell, diagonal, across the court from their bench. Slaymaker followed his athletes, crossing the court at a steady pace. His steps, a quick shuffle, carried the urgency of a coach determined to deliver a message to his team, while hiding his resolve to make it without falling. His neuropathy changed the manner in which he walks and maintains his balance. “It’s been suggested by doctors that I need a cane,” says Slay. “One doctor said, or a walker – Wow, that hurts!”

He won’t regain his mobility. In this moment, as he hurries toward his team, Slaymaker demonstrates his resolve to recover from the setback, adapting from the loss of his physical abilities to hold the presence of a coach; a presence his athletes need and the dignity he needs.

Coach Slay built a foundation for longevity in coaching that includes resilience. Setbacks in coaching are common. You will lose games, and if you can’t deal with the setback of losing a contest, you won’t find yourself in coaching for too long. Yet, the longer you coach, the greater challenges you will face. You may lose your job because you lost too many games, or what you hope never to experience as a coach, an athlete on your team may lose their life.

During the 2025 season, Mia Hamant, a University of Washington women’s soccer player, lost her battle to Stage 4 kidney cancer. Her passing occurred on the same day her teammates won their semi-final match-up in the Big Ten Conference Tournament. Having already dedicated their season to Mia, uncertain of the outcome, they faced a difficult moment. Two days before the championship, the coach had to help her athletes balance time to grieve while continuing to play a soccer season. The athletes demonstrated resilience as they honored their teammate to make a memorable postseason run, winning the Big Ten championship and advancing to the Elite Eight in the NCAA Tournament before losing to Duke University.

In 1998, after 28 seasons, Coach Slay retired as the head men’s basketball coach at Emporia State University. For many in the community, this came as a surprise. Slaymaker is a local kid, born and raised under the shadow of the university only 56 miles away in Peabody, KS; an alum, who played and developed his coaching career at the school; loyal, fully committed to the ideals of the university as a teacher and a coach; he won, garnering 462 total wins, five Central States Intercollegiate Conference championships, four District 10 titles, and four appearances in the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics (NAIA) National Tournament; and he was recognized, receiving an NAIA national coach of the year honor in 1986 and six NAIA District 10 Coach of the Year awards.

Slay retired, but was he pushed out? The reasons for his decision to retire after the 1997-98 season are his to share; he has earned that right. A lot of factors led to his announcement in May of 1997, as detailed in the article I Raised My Hand. The lesson for coaches is that your position is never secure; recent results may override a career of achievements.

Personally, he recovered from losing his status as the head men’s basketball coach. Showing resilience, Slay stayed in the community. He stayed involved in basketball, teaching, officiating, and mentoring coaches. He also discovered that he could still make an impact in other ways. For example, he served as Chairman of the United Way for East-Central Kansas, an eight-county area, helping to raise money for two years. In addition, he co-chaired Emporia’s Sesquicentennial Committee, which celebrated the community’s 150th anniversary. For a coach who left his position before he was ready, while he still had a passion to coach, Slay’s legacy in the community grew. He’s known in Emporia as “Mr. Hornet,” after the mascot of ESU, and the basketball court in White Auditorium bears his name, “Coach Slay’s Court.”

The longer you stay in coaching, moments off the court will test your resilience. In 2018, after 62 years of marriage, Shirley Temple Slaymaker, Ron’s high school sweetheart, passed away at 82. Over the years, former players and assistant coaches have also passed away. Each moment testing his spirit and ability to recover. He always does. As for serving as a coach and staying in the game, Slaymaker knows it won’t last forever. “I hope that I will know (when it is time to stop),” says Slay. “I hope I am smart enough to make that decision.”

Your answers to the following questions can help you reflect on your foundation for longevity in coaching and what you need to do to stay in the game. In pursuing your passion to coach, do you have the passion and energy for the role of a coach? Can you persist through the difficulties and challenges in coaching while maintaing a work-life balance? Can you recover or adjust after a loss on the field of play or a misfortune in your life? Your answers to these questions can help you reflect on your foundation for longevity in coaching and what you need to do to stay in the game.

Strategies to reflect on your passion, build perseverance, and become resilient as a coach go beyond this article. For additional information, please see the resources listed below. As you reflect and learn more about how build your foundation for longevity, check to ensure you meet the four essentials to serve as a coach.

Do you meet the four essentials to serve as a coach?

All established coaches, those who have stayed in coaching for multiple seasons, demonstrate the following four essentials to serve as a coach: 1) they know the rules, 2) they know how to play the game, 3) they know how to provide instruction, and 4) they know how to demonstrate respect for the game, the opponent, and the athletes they lead. Failure to meet one of the four essentials will cut short any coaching career.

If you have coached for multiple seasons, you likely already meet the four essentials to serve as a coach. If you are beginning as a coach, review the article “The Four Essentials to Serve as a Coach” and work on the items needed to provide you with a foundation to stay in the game.

While you need the four essentials to stay in the game, they will only take you so far; you and others expect you to do more. Slaymaker learned early in his career that he needed to accomplish more; he needed to meet other standards associated with the role of the coach. And he did. At 89 years of age, Ron Slaymaker continues to coach because he built a foundation for longevity and mastered the Three Ways to Stay in the Game (article coming soon).

Editors’ Note

Pursuing Your Passion to Coach is a two-article series and a part of The Stay in the Game Project. The Stay in the Game Project examines how coaches achieve longevity and what support they need along the way. Discover strategies to develop athletes, build a support system, and learn winning habits.

Read more from the Stay in the Game Project:

• Pursuing Your Passion to Coach: Building a Foundation to Stay in the Game
• Pursuing Your Passion to Coach: 3 Ways to Stay in the Game (coming soon…)
• The Four Essentials to Serve as a Coach
• Embrace the Future of Skill Development: Adapt Your Role as a Coach

Follow the Stay in the Game Project: https://stayinthegameproject.substack.com/

Resources

Coaching Insight…

• Coach resilience: What it means, why it matters and how to build it– by Janet A. Young(free copy link)
• The Tough Stuff: Seven Hard Truths About Being a Head Coach – by Cody Royle
• Using strengths to develop coaching resilience – by Wade Gilbert (pages 286-292)
• What does it mean to be “mentally tough” as an NCAA Division I collegiate coach? – by Weinberg, Freysinger, Vealey, and Block

Common reads you can apply to coaching…

• The Passion Paradox by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness
• Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck

Sources Used

• Data USA
• Kansas Sampler Foundation
• Kansas State High School Activities Association
• Gilbert, W. (2016). Coaching better every season: A year-round system for athlete development and program success. Human Kinetics.
• Mayo Clinic
• Raley, D. (2025, November 28). UW Husky women’s soccer loses to Duke in Elite Eight as remarkable season ends. The Seattle Times. https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/uw-huskies/uw-husky-womens-soccer-loses-to-duke-in-elite-eight-as-magical-season-ends/
• Rantz, S. (2025, November 23). For Mia: UW women’s soccer’s Sweet 16 journey. Sounder at Heart. https://www.sounderatheart.com/2025/11/for-mia-uw-womens-soccers-sweet-16-journey/
• Topeka Public Schools
• Topeka High School: Eight historic features of the building, built in 1931 with Williamson Tower. The Topeka Capital-Journal. https://www.cjonline.com/story/news/2021/09/24/topeka-high-school-eight-historic-features-building-built-1931-williamson-tower/5809494001/
• Van Mullem, P. (2023, March 14). I raised my hand: Slaymaker reflects on a 64-year career teaching basketball. Sport Coach America. https://sportcoachamerica.org/i-raised-my-hand-slaymaker-reflects-on-64-year-career-in-basketball/
• Van Mullem, P. (2024, May 30). The four essentials to serve as a coach. Sport Coach America. https://sportcoachamerica.org/the-four-essentials-to-serve-as-a-coach
• Vesely, S. (2025, November 28). UW Husky women’s soccer loses to Duke in Elite Eight as magical season ends. The Seattle Times. Retrieved from https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/uw-huskies/uw-husky-womens-soccer-loses-to-duke-in-elite-eight-as-magical-season-ends
• Weinberg, R., Freysinger, V., Vealey, R., & Block, C. (2022). What does it mean to be “mentally tough” as a NCAA division I collegiate coach? Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 34(2), 342–362. https://doi.org/10.1080/10413200.2020.1791277
• Young, J. A. (2014). Coach resilience: What it means, why it matters, and how to build it. Coaching and Sport Science Review, 22, 10-12.