By Mikayla Ferenz
(February 23, 2023)
Last summer, I watched a TV series called Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso is a comedy series about an American college football coach who becomes head coach of the Richmond soccer club in England. The Ted Lasso character is silly and charismatic. Although the premise of the show is a little ridiculous, it is also heartwarming. Coach Lasso knows very little about soccer, but he truly understands coaching and building relationships. Coach Lasso spends time getting to know each of his new players and every individual involved in the club. He makes each member of the club feel loved and important. A big part of Coach Lasso’s success is his determination in finding the good in everyone and then challenge them to be better. The relationship between coach and player is powerful and Coach Lasso demonstrates how leading with optimism and love fosters positive individual and team growth (even if it’s not reality).
However, in one episode, Coach Lasso purposefully changes his positive and charming character to mend what he believes is a team divide. Coach Lasso calls his alter-ego “Led Tasso.” He becomes Led Tasso to bond the players together through the mutual hate of their coach. Led Tasso is authoritative and rough; he yells and is demeaning toward his players. As a result, the team pulls together and wins the next match. Unfortunately, Led Tasso is comparable to many coaches in modern sport who try to lead their teams with authority and motivation through fear.
“Led Tasso” may have worked for Coach Lasso, but only because he built a culture of trust in his mission and trust among the team. Unfortunately, many coaches behave like “Led Tasso” often and without building trusting relationships within their team. Although most coaches have good intentions, many are ill-equipped to withstand the negative environment of sport. Having the maturity and moral direction needed to weather the kind of scrutiny that all coaches face is tough. The problem is many coaches are not equipped to resist the pressures of sport and over time, become “morally calloused” and begin to resemble the demeaning, “Led Tasso”. If coaches are not taught and given the tools to endure morally the pressures of competition, then how can they be expected to teach good values to their athletes? I think the biggest failing of coaches is not their lack of knowledge or passion, it is their inability to be courageous and confront the negativity of sport.
Coaches face many difficulties as a leader in sport, but building caring, consistent relationships should be their priority. Many coaches are so worried about winning and being successful, that they do not take the time to build meaningful relationships with their players and embrace the opportunity to positively influence young people’s lives. Leading through authority and fear may have short-term results but is not a sustainable or healthy way to lead a team. Many players develop a fear of failure because they dread the reaction of their coach and thus, become scared to even try. Coach Wooden once said, “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be” (Resch, 2012).
Young athletes do not know how to process failure as a means of improvement. I struggled with this when I was a young athlete and I know how the fear of failure can be polarizing. One day when I was in high school, I was at the gym doing a shooting workout with my dad. I was very spoiled because I always had parents who were willing to rebound. I am embarrassed to admit that I was a difficult person to work with, especially when I was having a bad shooting day – I was extremely hard on myself. On this day, I thought I was having a bad shooting day, so after a few missed shots, I kicked the ball across the court. I turned away from my dad so I could cry and slowly walked across the court to fetch my ball. I did not know my dad was following me but when I finally reached my ball and turned back around, he was standing there. He put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Mikey, why do you live and die with every shot?” I did not have an answer and that was a pivotal moment for me. From that day on, I became a different player. I did not live and die with every moment on the basketball court. I did not let a turnover or missed shot control me. Playing became a lot more fun and I built so much confidence because I was not paralyzed by the fear of failing.
I was fortunate to have parents who consistently reminded me that it is okay to fail, but most athletes do not have coaches at home. Athletes need constant encouragement from their coach that failure is not fatal. Failure is a necessary part of growth and improvement. Athletes must feel that their coach believes in them, or they will be too afraid to try and thus improve. I developed the mindset that failure is not fatal as a collegiate student-athlete and continue this mindset as a professional athlete. I know every bad moment or time of struggle is temporary. I believe in myself and my love for the game and I focus on the next play.
All coaches can learn something from Coach Lasso. In the first episode, Coach Lasso hangs a poorly written, paper sign above his office door that says one simple but powerful word, “Believe.” This quirky, fictional coach loves coaching and is clear in his mission to help his team collectively and individually learn from their challenges; he never lets them lose the joy of competing and being part of the team. He stays positive, redirects when needed, challenges his players to be better, and empowers them to extend themselves without the fear of failure. Most of all he leads through love and service. Watching Ted Lasso helped me reflect on my time as an athlete playing for different coaches. To empower your athletes and lead them in a positive manner, I offer coaches the following three suggestions:
- Teach your athletes to not fear disappointment or failure, but to see disappointment or failure as a way to improve.
- Teach your athletes to have good character that extends to all aspects of their lives.
- Inspire confidence in your athletes and care for them.
Reference
Resch, R. (2012, February 19). John Wooden: The legendary UCLA coach’s top 20 quotes. Retrieved from Bleacher Report: https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1072132-john-wooden-the-legendary-ucla-coachs-top-20-quotes
